swiftrunnerfelidae:

engulfes:

HATE when you’re inserting your email somewhere and literally from the first letter the website is like “invalid email address” like yes i know. I’m typing it right now. My email address is obviously not just the letter ‘m’. Stop

eggastential-biscuits:

onlyjellyillputinmybelly:

yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas:

sanders-sides-sins:

splatoon-jim:

sassy-in-glasses:

pumpkindobby:

jijarugen:

fnaf-thechoco:

pinkmanjesse:

DAY 15

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

You can only reblog this 12 times a year

Make the most of that

Every month I reblog this and every month I’m baffled that it’s already the 15th.

I’m scheduling this for every month

IT ONLY APPEARS ON THE FIFTEENTH OF EVRY MONTH

THIS ONLY APPEARS ON 15THS WTF

*slams reblog button*

Welp it’s that day again

Do people just have this queued or something`??

This was my first time.

doriansbutt:

dkpsyhog:

funnytwittertweets:

An apple farmer and a garlic farmer team up to fight their mutual nemesis, a vampire doctor

Dr. Acula

beamingsuggestion:

aim for progress, not perfection

bluizu:

hera-the-wizard:

8 billion humans on Earth

8 billion artists, 8 billion storytellers, 8 billion siblings, 8 billion lovers, 8 billion tool users, 8 billion people

congratulations, i think

happy 8 billion, everybody.

yeahiwasintheshit:

So today was my last day at work and I have several days off before I start my new job on Monday.

So Tumblr….what should my new fixation be that I dive head first into and be completely obsessed with between now and then? Or do I dive back into old family waters?

heidioph:

she’s sitting down because she cannot stand him

spaceshipkat:

congratulations! you’re now a pirate. your seventh most recent emoji is the symbol on your flag. mine is ™️

Let’s see…mine is 👋

cryptidcola:

cryptidcola:

it’s mothman’s birthday everyone say happy birthday mothman 🥳🎉

mothman has been thotting it up in west virginia for 55 slutty, slutty years

the-ginger-hedge-witch:

lady-of-the-lotus:

Nothing quite like soft characters going feral and feral characters going soft

vulturaldeterminants:

internet-schvitzinq:

eastern-bloc-party:

I’m HOLLERING

THIS OLD LADY CALLED US AND SAID “I had a temper tantrum at the library :/“ and I genuinely didn’t know what to say so I asked, “what’s wrong?”

And she says apologetically, “well I THOUGHT y’all had seven books on hold for me but it was only one…but I wouldn’t listen and insisted y’all had seven so I’m afraid I was quite rude.”

And I said something well meaning like “well, we all live and learn, right?”

And then she proceeds to tell me that she called her best friend and confessed, “I’ve made a fool out of myself at the library :/“ and her friend said “no, you were a bitch at the library” and she said, “you’re right, I was an ass,” and then told me that best friends aren’t afraid to set you straight and that she’s been friends with her since 1964 and then oh my gosh and then she said “yeah they’ll call you a bitch but don’t worry, they still love you. I know now not to fuck with the library.”

And she talks like my nana and I’m trying to stifle my laughter and I said in my best stern voice “well now ma’am, I don’t want to seem like I’m encouraging this behavior, but I suppose we can let you check out books again, IF you promise not to cause a ruckus a SECOND time,” and she replied “oh I don’t need encouraging! It comes naturally!”

DON’T FUCK WITH THE LIBRARY AHXKSUCKSJXSKS

marithlizard:

(original tweet)

I would like a million dollars so I can give it to this man to carve whatever he wants in wood surfaces all over my dream house and also any public buildings he feels like, please.